I was listening to a podcast episode “Does Being Selfish In Bed Make Sex Better?” by the Pleasure Mechanics. The part that struck a cord with me was when they mentioned the difference between being selfish and self focused.
Sexually Selfish: Focuses only on own pleasure, without regard to partner’s experience or feelingsSexually Self Focused: Focuses simultaneously on own experience and partner’s feelings, with the goal of mutually pleasurable, consensual and satisfying sex.
The reason I love this is that when engaging in sex or anything sexual I get great pleasure in pleasuring my partner. I started of by believing “I am totally a self focused lover” but the more the episode went on I realized I was quite selfish. Selfish in the sense that I wasn’t allowing myself to receive pleasure. Here I am being given the great gift of my partner allowing me to give them pleasure yet things are not reciprocated.
My objective for the year of 2017 is to allow myself to receive pleasure. As a giver this will be a challenging task or me. With then end goal being more pleasure I can honestly say I am easily motivated. At the end of the day we are responsible for our own pleasure. if it means not holding yourself back and allowing yourself to receive pleasure, DO IT. If it means communicating with your partner and finding the things you both mutual enjoy, DO IT. Do whatever it takes to find your and your partner’s pleasure.
2017 is the year of being Self Focused